What Happens When a Raven Goes Phishing?

What if Edgar Allan Poe wrote “The Raven” during the information age?

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I emailed, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of unread mail
While I nodded, nearly sleeping, suddenly there came a beeping,
As of some notification buzzing, buzzing of a new email
"Tis some phisher" I muttered, tapping the icon "gmail"
Only this and nothing more.

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the grey November;
I surrendered my password to member claiming to represent Facebook
Eagerly I wished I paused, for the anguish that had caused
A hacker that cares not of laws—my credentials they took
My password long and complicated, unique and rare to a crook
Kicked me off of my Facebook

When my inbox, full, staring into my slipping spirit
Tired me—tired me like nothing else had tired me ever before;
So that I, to keep my drooping eyes still open, I kept clicking
To the message following the one I read before—
Each new message following the one I read before—
That was my goal, nothing more.

Gradually my eyes grew heavy, exhaustion’s lure pulling down,
Click, again, and skimming, slowly I processed my email;
But the fact is I was slacking, and while dozing they came hacking,
And an email they sent chiming, chiming in my mail folder,
The alert tone faint, but there, sure—here I clicked the folder—
To see what was in my mail.

The note that had come opened, long I sat there looking, reading,
Wondering, dreaming things I had never dared to dream before;
But the message was still there, and as far as I was aware,
The message that it bore was the pointed promise “Much more!”
This I read, and again I said to myself “much more!”
Not seeing what was in store.

With renewed strength pushing forward, I moved my cursor slowly toward
The email that made a promise that I couldn’t just ignore.
“Surely,” said I, “surely it is something that would help the business,
Let me see then, what isthmus I have been sent to, to explore,
Let me help my job a little and this message I’ll explore,”
Not seeing what was in store.

Clicking firm on the mail icon, I, watching the small cursor strike on,
Saw the note in full appear with its full promise at the fore,
“Make more money with this data”, with a folder pinned and ready,
And, with not a thought of issue, clicked into the folder’s stores,
Waiting to see a trove of insights held inside the folder’s stores,
Not seeing what was in store.

But then panic struck, intestines in my belly intertwining,
By the dire and stern consequence of its disclosure. I swore,
“I have just been phished and hacked, and my data has been ransacked,
Without all the data that I need my chance of success is slim to poor
Oh, if only I had listened when I was warned of phishing lures!
If I only knew what was in store!

I sat there helplessly as malware locked and altered files,
Feeling my heart sink through my chest as I predicted what was in store.
I would update my resume but alas, I feel this makes me an automatic pass
With a record like this, I’ll never be considered for work any more
All because some cybercriminal targeted me for their score…
Oh, if only I knew what was in store.

Quoth Horne & Benik, Never More.

Here at Horne & Benik, we’re all too familiar with these kinds of events—and, more importantly, how to train your team members to avoid this and similar outcomes. Give us a call at (603) 499-4400 to learn more, and Happy Halloween!